


It's (Not) Fine

by Phyryc



Series: Just Sit With Me [1]
Category: DnD - Fandom
Genre: Gen, Hek's lowkey suicidal and it shows sometimes, Julian's the exception and we love him, discussion of scars, the party's a bunch of assholes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-12
Updated: 2020-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-12 23:00:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23116483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phyryc/pseuds/Phyryc
Summary: Travelling with a party of assholes is difficult when they don't and won't even look at you. Sometimes understanding comes from the vampire lord who trapped your party in an alternate plane that you though you killed a few months ago.
Series: Just Sit With Me [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1661608





	It's (Not) Fine

**Author's Note:**

> it's a thought for one of the scenarios that the party could find out more of their secretive rogue.  
Characters are from a dnd campaign (we caused the fucking apocalypse and everything's a mess)  
Hek- Sun Elf, Rogue  
Vex- Tiefling, Wizard (necromancy)  
Bree- Lightfoot Halfling, Barbarian/Wizard  
Julian- Tiefling/???, Paladin  
Strahd- Human, ??? -Darklord [Vampire Lord]  
Charon- Drow, Sorcerer -Vampire Spawn [Consort]

The battle is going well, the party's taking on Lyssa's vampire spawn easily enough, Strahd's taking care of Lyssa, everything's going well. Until everything takes a turn as suddenly, Hek finds himself in the area of a rogue spell and it doesn't matter which side it came from, his cloak, shirt and gloves are burning and the pain of burning still feels better than the spike of panic threatening to pierce through his chest.

They'll see /them/ and ask all sorts of insensitive questions they don't deserve to have answered.

They'll just be sharper barbs for them to stab him with.

He takes a deep breath and shakes his head to the side.

It's _**f**__**ine**_. It doesn't matter. It _can't_ matter, he needs to focus on the fight.

Another swing, and he can see them in his periphery, pulling his attention-

Focus, he needs to focus.

This is the conniving /bitch/ who dared to hurt his mother for trying to retaliate on his behalf.

Someone on the ever-growing list of people who would harm Charon and take his happiness.

Who dragged him to sleep and used blood magic to manipulate him and his.

She can't gain anymore advantages than she already has. He can't afford to hesitate.

He needs to stop worrying and _fo__cus_.

So he pushes through the impulse to cover his arms and the emotions threatening to spill out.

It's fine.

He swings the sun sword again with a new vengeance. The sooner this is over the sooner he'll be fine.

Whatever passes for fine nowadays, at least.

He manages to cut down the spawn that had surrounded him and turns to make his way to the fight with Lyssa.

To see the corpse Strahd's made of her. That works too.

He hopes she suffered.

The battle's over, but there's still information to be uncovered, so he moves on from the carnage to dig through whatever he can find. They need information, as insignificant as it might be.

Turns down Julian's offer for healing,

He's **fine**.

<strike>the new wounds hide the older ones</strike>

Ignores Bree and Vex and their invasive questions.

It's none of their business.

<strike>Vex can't keep a secret without constant reminders and gods does he just want to forget</strike>

He can't find a passable cloak or shirt he can take from one of the corpses, but there's bedrooms around and it's easy enough to find a new cloak long enough to cover up <strike>hide</strike> with.

* * *

The ride back is tense and thankfully void of the questions he knows the others want to ask. <strike>H</strike><strike>e almost elects to walk back instead of riding behind and holding onto someone else, his arms are so bare</strike>-

They make it back to the tavern to clean up a little before they have to set out to tell the masked lords of their newest progress.

* * *

A quick scrub removes most of the gore and bandaging is done with practiced ease.

The itch to do something takes over after he's finished fixing his shirt sleeves into place, so he foregoes the second pair of gloves and takes his hair out from the complex braids it had been in and sets to work on a new, simpler one. The new style pulls the top section of hair back, away from his face into a small tail with the rest hanging in waves around him.

He grabs a small section and begins working on tiny braids.

Focusing on the feel of his hair and the size of each tiny section and the repetitive motions is centering. With each braid completed, he can feel himself reaching normal again. He can go back to doing what's needed of him without fear of a breakdown. He's still useful.

One by one, more are added as he waits for someone to call him down to leave.

For now, he's fine and nobody has any reason to believe otherwise.

**Author's Note:**

> (I'm so sorry if the characterization's off,, it's been months,,,, and I tried for this to be from Hek's understanding of everything ;-;)


End file.
